Jan is an award-winning columnist on senior living, a television producer/host, and author of Hot Chocolate for Seniors book. She is a popular emcee and frequent inspirational speaker at senior expos and anti-aging conferences on the topics of “Finding Love & Romance at Any Age!”, ” Keeping Your Dreams Alive”, and “Seniors Adapting to Our Changing World”. Both widowed and divorced, she now enjoys the ideal relationship with “just the right man” whom she met in a ballroom dance class at a local senior center more than four years ago. You may order her new book, Hot Chocolate for Seniors, at hotchocolateforseniors.com or (909) 793-6419.
This month’s topic: When Friendship Turns to Love
Friends first, and then lovers…isn’t that the way it should be?
More often than not, a relationship begins with casual dating. In fact, we often brush it off lightly, explaining “Oh, we’re just friends”. Then one day, it hits us that our connection with our dating partner has skyrocketed from a comfortable level of companionship to a deeper richer bond called love. It happens all the time. Yes, it is perfectly normal for a sudden shift in the relationship to occur after many months–or even years–of friendship.
So what are the signs of this sudden shift? And how do we recognize when a close friendship has blossomed into love? Well, we’re almost guaranteed to recognize it by the light-hearted euphoric feeling of well-being that overcomes us—a feeling that our life has been magically transformed. Of course, there are numerous other subtle (and not-so-subtle) indicators that the power of love has taken over and bloomed in our
Consider the following. You pretty much know you have fallen in love when:
~ You realize that you’ve become one another’s best friend. She’s the first one you call when you
have exciting news to share…He’s the first one you turn to whenever you need a lift.
~ You can no longer ignore a powerful surge in body chemistry and physical attraction which you
feel for one another. (Chemistry is an essential part of any relationship.)
~ You begin to read each others’ minds–there’s a stronger emotional connection between you now.
~ You love to surprise and delight, as well as please, your mate.
~ You experience escalating emotions of tenderness and playfulness which you want to express.
~ You long to see each other more often and talk, text, or email one another more frequently
throughout the day.
~ You feel an increased desire to connect on a deeper level and to share more of what’s on your
~ You love being together and feel you can express yourself freely.
~ You may experience feelings of jealousy when you accidently run into your mate’s former love
partner, causing you to inquire “Who was she/he”?
~ Your phone conversations last longer.
~ You begin sharing mutual dreams and using words like “we” and “us”.
~ Your life feels turbo-charged by an unmistakable air of magic!
So without even realizing it, all along the way you’ve been building one another’s mutual trust, confidence, and love. No, the time has not been wasted, for there’s no better romance than a union built on the intimacy and closeness of a longtime friendship. Combine that with an understanding of one another’s needs, mutual respect and loyalty, and you have some wonderful ingredients for love and happiness.
We all need love and companionship, whether we’re willing to admit it or not. After all, we’re living longer lives and there is nothing quite as wonderful and fulfilling as having “just the right person” to go places with and talk to. Life is an ongoing odyssey…we never know what’s right around the corner, including the very real possibility that a longtime trusted friend could end up being our perfect love mate. What a magical discovery it is when friendship turns into love!